You can get anything on craigslist. Anything.
You want sex.
Everyone does. It feels great, increases your life expectancy, burns calories, builds muscle, is good for your hair, skin, and joints, relieves depression, cures strep throat, soothes hemorrhoids, raises your IQ, lowers taxes, and gives angels their wings. you should be having more of it. For the good of humanity.
Let's get you started.
First and foremost, you need to be prepared for failure. I can't possible describe to you the number of times I've failed at this. I've failed in every way possible. From not having my reply to an ad answered, to my witty rejoinder being ignored, to being stood up at the meeting site, passed over for a suitor who they erroneously thought was a superior, to being turned down at the meeting, by being deceived as to the appearance of the other party, and being led on by both women and men, possibly collecting pictures, probably just fucking with me for the fun of it. It's a tough road, unless you're super hot or super lucky, but even then, things can and will go wrong.
None of this really applies to women, because they simple need to identify themselves a women to have literally HUNDREDS of suitors. It doesn't work that way for us guys, but there are a lot of things we can do to increase our odds.
So, you're ready to fail? Great. Now, first thing, clean up your house a little bit. Take out the trash. Clean up all the condom wrappers, spoiled food, and get the cobwebs out of the corner. Get a bookshelf and put some books on it. Cut your hair and brush your teeth. No one wants to fuck a slob. Once you look and act and keep a house like a respectable member of society, you're ready to interact with other people who at least think that they are. If you don't have your own place, or at least a place available to use at a moments notice, you're at an immediate disadvantage. Throughout my slut career, I've had home bed advantage at least 75% of the time.
Keep up on a view current events. Like music, movies, etc. Smoke, but don't be a smoker. Know a little bit about a lot. Talk about yours kids if they do. You're going to need exploit every opportunity that you can to make a personal connection. That connection is your best friend. I am in no way advocating lying to women to get what you want, so don't do that. Don't be something you're not. Just be the best parts of yourself.
Be confident. I don't think there's a single thing women find more sexually attractive than confidence. Always confident. Say it with me. Confident.
Also, no text speak in emails. Or in texts for that matter. You are not a teenager. Speak, write, and text like an adult.
Ok. So now, You're a reasonable, functioning, showered, confident, member of society who knows about and likes stuff and things, who can also type a message at least at a 7th grade level. You're in business.
Now, get yourself a throway email address, and link it to a craigslist account. You're going to need a phone number to do this. And while we're talking about phones, you'd better get one with internet access and email. You're going to find out that timing is everything, and you're going to need to be able to react immediately to any developments.
Your email address will say a lot about you. Don't use anything that has your real name. Initials might be best. Or one that's linked to your Facebook account. The first thing I do when I get a legitimate email is search Facebook for that email address. You can be sure the sluts are doing the same thing, so your craigslist identity need to be separate from your real identity. Thankfully, I never had to deal with any social media shitstorm, but I'm sure it happens all the time. The word is discrete. Individually separate and distinct. Not to be confused with discreet. Not only that, but it's one of the few advantages you can wrest from the sluts with whom you are having this proverbial sex battle.
Get a recent, flattering picture of, at least, your face. Body pictures are helpful. I do not recommend cock pics, unless they BEG you for it. Some will. Be careful out there, if you ever want to run for office. You should also check out the competition. See what the other guys are saying. Face it, the odds are OVERWHELMINGLY stacked against you, so you're going to have to stand out somehow, without sounding crazy or unstable.
To truly be successful, you've got to know what you're looking for, or at least know what's out there. I've identified the following kinds of sluts available for fucking. This is not an inclusive list, there's probably sluts out there I don't know about, and probably even more that we don't want to deal with.
1. Hardcore sluts. These sluts love to fuck more than any other kind. They're out hunting cock just like you're out hunting them. I'd say these sluts comprise only about 10% of the total slut population. Usually they're very talented, really good about protection because they take so many cocks, don't care about your situation, have no problem coming straight over to your house, fucking you, and then leaving, or hosting you for such a meeting. Don't kiss them on the mouth. You might need to make sure they know they should be showering between sex partners. They're probably let you put it anywhere. You can find her on Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison and the like.
2. Timid sluts. They're first timers, or with little experience, but not necessarily, and will more than likely give you the "I've never done this before" business. Which may or may not be true. They're the most malleable of the sluts because they just don't know the ropes and they'll probably do whatever you tell them is normal. Tread lightly anyway, just in case, because the ones who are unsure will panic and flee. The These are abundant, but the hardest to inspire, and the most difficult to put your penis in.
3. Tepid sluts. These sluts are a little tricky because they're used to banging dudes they meet in person at bars or wherever it is that people find people to fuck these days They need need to be chased, not they all don't, but it's most important to these sluts in particular to feel like they're just not giving it away for free and without you having to make an effort at seducing them, because that is really the only sinful part about this whole business, for lack of a better word. They may or may not have done this before. They want to fuck, but need a pretty goddamn good reason to come meet you at the local bar or grocery store to make sure you're not a freak before you buy them drinks and try to coax them back to your place.
4. Married sluts. These sluts are, well, married, or otherwise attached. They're craving something they're not getting. Sometimes they're playing with permission, often they're not. Whatever the case is, they're very careful and extremely selective, are usually about 40 years old, and will provide you with a quality fuck. If you blow their minds you can keep them for a while; they're easy to maintain, and after an initial public meeting will come over to your house, fuck you, then leave. Perfect.
5. The FWB sluts. These are your regular girls, with high enough sex drives that they don't want to go without. Someone you enjoy the company of. They usually have decent jobs, relatively nice apartments, and cats. You can show up with a bottle of wine, watch 3/5 of a movie with them, talk about the stupid shit that you're both dealing with, maybe have some laughs, fuck, and take your time leaving, because you don't just annoy the shit out of one another. It's almost like they're your...friend. Sometimes you'll have some stuff in common. Maybe you'll stay the night. Sometimes they get attached. Be careful. You still need to use a condom. Go out to breakfast. Lay on the couch on a Sunday. Whatever. You might even like their personality. Be careful, because this can get dangerously close to dating/girlfriend/
6. Fuck buddy sluts. These are a lot like FWB sluts, but you will probably have less in common, want to talk to them less, but might make with the obligatory small talk. You shouldn't spend much on these sluts or think that they want you to stick around for very long before or afterwards. With them it's a little more business oriented. You're not there to chat. You're there to fuck. Don't forget it. Their text messages to you will be less than 10 words, and often will just say "Hey, wanna fuck?" or something to that effect. Keep is simple, stupid, and you could have an on call sex partner for a long time. Don't ask them about the other guys they're banging. Wear a condom.